ST. PAUL (WCCO) In St. Paul, there's a place where kindness isn't just a goal, it's part of the company name. The Q Kindness Café
is tucked away inside the Lowry Building in downtown St. Paul. And for
the past two years, it has been ground zero of a mission to create the
kindest city in America.
"I think that's one of the best solutions to helping us out of this
recession, is focusing on others, focusing on what we can do to help
someone else," said co-owner Lisa Metwaly.
You could try walking into the café in a grouchy mood. But by the time
your breakfast or lunch is served, you might have a new attitude. For
starters, you'll see positive quotes on every wall, and on the menus
and tables as well.
They also take action by, for example, passing out hand warmers on cold days, and bouquets that they encourage people to share.
"And we have a little note on them that says 'Keep these flowers for an
hour, and then pass them along to someone else to make their day with
this note,'" said Metwaly. "Kindness: pass it on. And then bring the
vase back after you're done and we'll re-fill it."
Then there's the kindness wheel for customers to spin. They don't win
anything, but they buy whatever it lands on for the next stranger who
orders that item.
That kindness, they say, then multiplies.
Patricia Sargent, a customer making her first visit to the café,
received a free brownie because of someone's earlier kindness, spinning
the wheel. She said she tries to pay it forward.
"Earlier today," she told us, "I overheard someone saying that they
needed bus fare. And I happened to have two passes in my purse so I
gave them to her. We gotta look out for each other."
Lisa Metwaly's husband, Jimmy, bought the café 15 years ago, when it
was known as the Q Restaurant. Business was lagging two years ago, and
no one would buy it. So his wife -- a life coach -- brought her skills
onboard. Thus was born the Q Kindness Café, and business has improved.
One year ago, though, something very unkind happened there. Someone
broke in during the middle of the night and stole hundreds of dollars
from the cash register and the waitress tip jar. So how did they react?
With a brand new campaign of kindness.
"When you fight hate with hate, all you get is more hate," said Lisa
Metwaly. "But if you think about, if we could inspire more people to be
kind, you know we could do more random kindness as opposed to random
violence. Then, you know, we've recruited a few more people."
The cafe owners persuaded Mayor Chris Coleman to declare the first week
of every month "Kindness Week" in St. Paul. That's when they kick off a
new kindness campaign.
Kindness Proclamation
offically announced at The Saint Paul Saints game 8/19
Whereas, fun is good; and
Whereas, kindness is great; and
Whereas, the Saint Paul Saints and the Q Kindness Café
invite people to step up to the plate and collaborate to make
Saint Paul the kindest city in '08; and
Whereas, by encouraging fun acts of kindness during the first week of every month, kindness will be everywhere making Saint Paul the kindest city in the world; and
Now, therefore, I, Chris Coleman, Mayor of the City of Saint Paul, do hereby proclaim the first week of every month as
Kindness Week
in Saint Paul and encourage everyone to participate in purposeful, perpetual kindness to make Saint Paul the kindest city in the world!
In witness whereof I have hereunto set my hand
and caused the seal of the City of Saint Paul to be affixed this Nineteenth day of August in the year Two Thousand Eight.
Christopher B. Coleman, Mayor
FRONT PAGE NEWS
This burglarized cafe reacts in a way you'd expect - with kindness
St. Paul's Q Kindness Cafe lives up to its name with plans for a customer giveaway BY MARA H. GOTTFRIED
Pioneer Press Article Last Updated: 01/21/2008
After the Q Kindness Cafe in downtown St. Paul was burglarized over the weekend, the owner didn't get mad. She decided to respond in the spirit of her restaurant's philosophy and practice random acts of kindness.
Co-owner Lisa Cotter Metwaly's reaction to losing $250, including $50 in waitress' tips, is to amplify the kindness - she'll give away $100 worth of hand warmers Wednesday to her customers who ride the bus.
"People do random acts of violence, but what if they did random acts of kindness?" Metwaly said Monday. "This is my little test. I said to myself, 'Practice what you preach, Lisa.' What you give comes back, so you just give more."
Metwaly's "kindness campaign" means the restaurant regularly gives $5 gift certificates to customers and asks them to hand them out, preferably to strangers. The cafe has monthly speakers at its "Insights and Inspirations" series.
The customers "get it," Metwaly said. Diners often pick up the bill for people they don't know, she said. People have dropped off a box of handmade mittens, bags of food for food shelves and books for preschoolers learning to read.
Because the restaurant tries to give so much, Metwaly said, it was heartbreaking to find someone would take from it.
The break-in happened Friday night through a side door of the cafe, Metwaly said. The burglar went through the cash register and the tip jars, she said.
Security has been increased since then, Metwaly said. Police are investigating.
A cafe customer on Saturday heard about the waitress' stolen tips and left $20 for them, Metwaly said.
"It brought me to tears," she said.
The cafe started in its spot on the first floor of the Lowry
Building,
350 St. Peter St., as the Q Restaurant and Coffee Shop.
Metwaly's husband, Jimmy Metwaly, bought the restaurant with a partner 15 years ago. The business wasn't doing well about two years ago, and Jimmy Metwaly asked his wife, who is a certified life coach, "Why don't you do what you do here?"
Lisa Cotter Metwaly bought out her husband's partner, and they renamed the restaurant. The couple expanded the menu and renovated. The walls now sport bright primary colors, "like one big kitchen," Metwaly said.
Last week was the busiest the restaurant has been in several years, Metwaly said.
"I think people are starting to discover us," she said. "It's been this little rollercoaster ride of hope."
On Wednesday, when Metwaly gives out the hand warmers, the idea is that the recipients will "pay the kindness forward," she said. The warmers last for seven hours, and Metwaly hopes people will pass them on to others who could use a warmup.
Metwaly said her philosophy developed after her 20-year-old sister was killed in a Forest
Lake car accident in 1990.
"She gave me strength to live for the day," Metwaly said. "You turn the negative around. You have to. It's like a vortex if you don't. We can continue to go down the path that won't serve us, or go down the path that will."
Mara H. Gottfried covers St. Paul public safety. She can be reached at mgottfried@pioneerpress.com or 651-228-5262.
Front page news Women's Press - August 2008
Blessed are the peacemakers
Peace&Kindness Feature: The RNC is coming to town. The action inside the Xcel Energy Center is predictable. But what about outside, in the streets?
Top and bottom photos by Lisa Peterson-De La Cueva; middle photo by Amber Procaccini
by Lisa Peterson-de la Cueva
As
the Republican National Convention (RNC) approaches, the Minnesota
Women's Press sat down with three Minnesota women who are using the RNC
as a framework for peace. These are their stories.
Peace pro
Marie Braun: Women Against Military Madness (WAMM)
Peacemaking is not a passing phase for Marie Braun. Her "Say No
to War In Iraq" lawn sign is still standing, unscathed by the elements,
even though it's been there for more than five years. She has protested
wars through humid summers and biting winters on the Lake Street Bridge
most Wednesdays for the last nine years. And she has spent the last few
months organizing and networking around peace activities during the RNC
as part of the Coalition to March on the RNC/Stop the War.
The Iraq war
Much of her energy in the past few months has gone to supporting
her friend, Iraqi-American and former Minnesotan Sami Rasouli, and
managing his upcoming speaking tour. He returns later this month after
living in Iraq for five years.
Braun hopes that the combination of RNC peace activities,
anti-war protest, and speaking engagements such as Rasouli's will
further unite and energize the anti-war movement. Braun herself visited
Iraq 10 years ago, and spoke to about 300 different groups about what
she saw there.
"I believe in the concept of formation through action. The
more actions people get involved in, the more things happen," she said.
Along with energizing anti-war advocates and informing convention
goers, Braun hopes that media and politicians will take notice. "We
want the Republicans-and the Democrats-to see that the majority of
people in this country don't support this war and want to bring about
an end to it." she said.
Braun, a longtime member of Women Against Military Madness
(WAMM) and its Twin Cities Peace Campaign-Focus on Iraq, has
connections to and knowledge of virtually every peace organization in
the area. "It's in my blood. I can't do anything else!"
Peace veteran
If social justice is not literally in her blood, it's been part of
her life since before she can remember. Her father's union activity at
a St. Paul packing plant exposed Braun to ideas of struggle and justice
from an early age. That's partly what led her to get involved with
social justice after high school. She became involved with the Young
Christian Workers (YCW). "We weren't just a study group. We used the
'observe, judge, act,' technique," Braun said.
She was eventually hired by the YCW in Chicago, and was even
more involved in social justice work. Most significant to her was her
participation in the civil rights march from Selma to Montgomery, Ala.
"It had a big impact on my life in terms of social justice and race
relations in the United States," Braun said.
Missing the RNC
Braun is surprisingly sprite, given the pain she's in. She walks
slowly, but steadily, using her cane only slightly for support. In late
August Braun will have hip replacement surgery and is scheduled to come
home on Sept. 1, the day the major RNC anti-war march is planned. "I'm
going to miss it all!" she cried, momentarily covering her face with
both hands and laughing.
That's somewhat misleading, though, since it doesn't seem
like surgery can slow Braun down. For one, Braun and her husband are
hosting two Peace Island conference speakers-an alternative "solutions
driven conference" at Concordia University the weekend of the RNC.
She'll also be watching the events unfold on TV and listening to the
radio. "I can do all the scheduling [for Rasouli's speaking tour] and
the organizing on computers nowadays and I'll have my phone," she said,
referring to her most pressing role relating to the RNC.
Just as Braun's lawn sign has withstood more than five years
of Minnesota winters, not even a hip replacement can deter her
commitment to peace and justice.
Random kindness and eggs over easy
Lisa Cotter Metwaly: The Kindest City in the World
It takes a packed schedule to make St. Paul the kindest city in
the world. Lisa Cotter Metwaly has busy days ahead at the Q Kindness
Café in downtown St. Paul. Along with serving up eggs and pancakes, she
dispenses kindness, participates in interviews and holds business
meetings.
The vision
Cotter Metwaly spoke to business owners and city representatives
from other cities that have hosted national conventions, and realized
that many people didn't think about what kind of messages they'd like
to convey during the political conventions. That's when she got to
thinking about making St. Paul the kindest city in the world. "What if
we had a vision and could throw it out there to other people and be an
example?" she asked. "We want people to look at St. Paul and kindness
and take ownership of it."
As she finished serving a customer, Cotter Metwaly traded the
coffee pitcher for a glass fishbowl filled with inspirational quotes.
With the kindness fishbowl in hand, she was completely at home among
the café's party-like décor: the "wheel of kindness," the cheerful
wrapping-paper rolls, and the confetti squiggles on the carpet.
Transitioning from server to interviewee, she doled out one
"act of random kindness" story after another with bright eyes, laughs
and even a knee-slap. She talked about the time a regular customer paid
for another customer's coffee for a month. Another time a group of
teenage cheerleaders cheered a customer, and sometimes the servers have
left dollar bills laying around for high school students at the school
next door to find.
"When you give out kindness-and it doesn't have to be
material, it can be anything-it comes back to you." Cotter Metwaly
paused, then added, "Not always, and not always soon. But it comes back
to you."
The mission
The café is part of a broader mission to spread kindness through
community and connectedness. "It's so important to bring people
together at the grassroots level instead of from the top. So it's about
inviting them in and making them part of something, because we all long
to belong," she said. "Really, it's about connecting the pieces of a
puzzle," she added. She hopes that her restaurant is a place where that
happens, even during unlikely times, like during the Republican
National Convention. Throughout the convention she is hosting
conversations about current events with a "kindness twist," and handing
out "kindness fans" with messages of kindness that she'd especially
like to give to protestors.
Measuring the kindness of a city is somewhat ambiguous, so
Cotter Metwaly relies on anecdotes and clues. It made her happy to hear
that one local florist began offering free "kindness bouquets" (a
bouquet one keeps for an hour before passing it on) to anyone who
bought a bouquet. The city of St. Paul is also taking the idea and
running with it. Mayor Chris Coleman has just proclaimed that the first
week of every month is officially "Kindness Week." Referring to the new
official week, Cotter Metwaly said, "It's exciting, the kindness thing
is starting to catch on."
The valley
With a background in financial services sales, as a flight
attendant, and as a life coach, Cotter Metwaly has a lot of experience
and inspiration to draw from. It's mostly personal challenges that have
induced her positive outlook on life. "You appreciate the mountain when
you've been in the valley," she said, shaking her head slowly.
Her parents divorced when she was 15 years old, which led to
a rebellious adolescence. Cotter Metwaly's sister then died in a car
accident in 1990. "A lot of people can focus on holding onto sadness
instead of hope," she said, but she chose to remain positive.
"You just have to put the roadblock up," she said, making a
"T" with her hands and shaking it. "I mean once in a while you have to
go back there and go through the mourning, but then you have to switch
gears, and it's all about what you focus on."
It was her father, Cotter Metwaly said, who guided her
throughout her life. "My dad always said, 'I trust you, I trust you, I
believe you and you can do anything.' And that has influenced
everything I do. I mean, give a person a reputation and they'll live up
to it." She says she uses this idea to influence the kids and teenagers
who hang around the café.
As Cotter Metwaly spoke about her father, her voice wavered
and she stopped mid-sentence. Eyes cloudy-a stark contrast to her ease
when telling tales of kindness-she glanced around the room. "Instead of
mourning for him I mourn for the people who didn't get a chance to know
him," she said before adding, "He died a month ago." She stopped, took
a breath, but didn't continue. After 30 seconds she had collected
herself. She looked up, cocked her head and smiled again.
A folder of business plans, flyers, pamphlets, articles and
kindness quotes sat on the table beside Cotter Metwaly. One bright
orange strip of paper is partly tucked into the folder. It reads,
"Feelings are everywhere. Be gentle. -J. Masai."
Evolutionary activist
Katherine Wojtan: Peace Team
Katherine Wojtan never thought of herself as political. Raising
a family and a career in corporate organizational development kept her
hands full. But 30 weeks of studying Catholic social justice changed
her.
Accidental activism
In 2002, with kids gone to college, Wojtan found herself with extra
time on her hands for the first time in years. She filled it with
"JustFaith," a program that focuses on Catholic social teaching and the
systemic nature of injustice. The program coincided with military
operations in Afghanistan and Iraq. Fifteen books, plenty of
conversations and a couple of American wars later, Katherine Wojtan
found herself becoming a peace activist.
"The point of the program isn't to make activists out of
everyone, but activism just naturally comes out of it," she explained.
The program changed Wojtan's understanding of her role in the
community. "It deepened my faith, and it really deepened my
understanding of injustice in the world."
Culture of peace
That understanding led her on the path toward Peace Team, a group
of 11 Minnesotans striving to create a culture of peace at the
Republican National Convention. As talk of potential violence at the
convention heated up this spring, individuals from various Twin Cities
peace networks came together with the purpose of keeping the event
peaceful.
"This is really a group effort by one of the most well
connected group of people that I've ever worked with. Anytime you need
something, someone comes up with a name and a contact," Wojtan said.
Before they had a name or an official mission, they heard
about a training program in Detroit put on by a group called Michigan
Peace Team. Two members of Minnesota's Peace Team attended the
training, which helped shape the Peace Team mission and strategies in
Minnesota.
A separate peace
There are several peace organizations in the Twin Cities, but the
Peace Team wanted to create a separate entity. "As a Peace Team, by
definition you are unbiased about the outcome of an event," Wojtan
explained. "We really want to provide a service to the people-to
protect people's safety and human rights-and we hope to continue to be
useful in this beyond this event." Their intent is not to stop civil
disobedience, but to help keep people safe if it should occur.
By the time the RNC comes to town, Peace Team hopes to have a
cadre of members who have attended its 10-hour Saturday trainings this
month. Wojtan said that the response during the registration for the
trainings has been overwhelmingly positive. "People are really happy
that someone's doing this from a positive perspective, and it's
gratifying to hear that."
Wojtan expects the training will also give the participants
transferable skills, particularly regarding nonviolent communication.
"Hopefully people can use the nonviolent modes of communication not
just at the RNC, but also in their daily lives, at the grocery store,
with their families," she said. It's the belief in nonviolent
communication that Wojtan believes helps lead to peace. "I've always
had a calling or compassion for people who are struggling in the
world," she said. "It just became clear that you have to understand
other people's perspective."
Peaceful woman
Wojtan, an active listener and articulate speaker, communicated an
aura of peacefulness. She is mild mannered, speaks with her hands in
slow and deliberate movements and thinks before saying anything. She
chose to meet at St. Joan of Arc Sanctuary, a church with which she has
no formal affiliation, in preference to a bustling coffee shop or an
office. "It's just such a comfortable, peaceful space," she said,
passing through the exit and into the gardens, a statue of St. Joan of
Arc in the background.
She glanced at the time after our interview. She had one hour
before she had to pick up a Peace Team trainer from Michigan at the
airport and wondered out loud whether that was enough time to pick up a
flip chart at Office Depot.
"This is just the beginning!" Wojtan said. It seems that flip
charts, trainings and airport runs will be taking up most her time as
she and the Peace Team get ready for the RNC.
Reporting 
